JIANGSU PROVINCE, April 1 (Xinhua) -- Reports came this morning from Chinese officials and other official sources confirmed that Sun Tzu, the ancient Chinese general who wrote The Art of War, was found alive in a cave outside of the city of Nanjing in the Jiangsu Province, 200 miles west of Shanghai.

    This discovery partly explains why there are no records of Sun Tzu's death and his mysterious disappearance from history books right after Chu, his last military campaign. Prior theories had him going to his homeland of Qi or to Qionglong Mountain.

    The general was thin but "in good health overall" described a local physician, Li Xin. When asked how he was able to remain alive after 2500 years, Li replied, "The Art of War survived that long didn't it?" She then added, "So why not its author?"

    Through Chinese interpreters, Sun Tzu said he wished to see the emperor. After he was updated on current events, he now wants to "check out" Sonshi.com. Telephone calls to Sonshi.com were not returned but the Web site states that everyone is welcome.

    Note: Although the good people at Sonshi.com wish Sun Tzu is indeed alive to teach us how warfare matters should really be conducted, this article is in fact a result of April Fool's Day and will be archived for future enjoyment.