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Online since 1999

The real art of manliness

1/30/2018

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There are plenty of advice on the Web about the art of manliness, from how a man should dress to what skills he needs to have. Apparently, the art of being a man has been lost. The inference is there is actually a way to become a real man.

It is no wonder men nowadays are confused. Hopefully I can help to clear some of that confusion.
"In battle, there are no more than two types of attacks: Common and uncommon, yet the variations of the common and uncommon cannot all be anticipated." Sun Tzu
First, there is no one way of being a man. Nobody who is reasonable would claim they know the art of being a woman -- so too the absurdity of someone claiming they know the art of being a man. Men are as diverse as the environment they live in. This is especially true for men who live and work among other people, which is almost every man you know. The people and circumstances around each and every man are different. For all of them to follow a particular lost art of manliness, their actions would likely be untimely and inappropriate. Maybe there was a good reason why that art was lost in the past (and needs to stay lost!).

Second, success for a man is dependent upon his ability to think for himself and adapt accordingly. For him to not carefully evaluate his own situation himself and instead follow someone else's rigid regimen or technique, he will invariably make mistakes that would cost dearly him at home and at work. What he has to succeed hasn't been lost. Evolution would dictate that chances are good he already possessed what it takes to succeed as a man and it is within him from the time he was born.
"The general who does not advance to seek glory, or does not withdraw to avoid punishment, but cares for only the people's security and promotes the people's interests, is the nation's treasure." Sun Tzu
And third, when a man worries more about himself than what his mission is, he ceases to become the person he wants to be. Since Abraham Lincoln had a beard, does that mean all men should grow a beard to become great leaders, too? You must not look for something that is unrelated to what you truly want. No need to simply look the part; it is enough that you think about your goal all day long because you would inevitably work to achieve it.

Therefore, your objective isn't to be a man that someone else thought a man should be.  Your goal is your goal. It is unique. It is different. It is yours. In summary, the real man or woman you want to be is the one who is daily striving for your dream and eventually reaching it. ​And real men and women certainly aren't lost. One of them can be found in your mirror each and every morning.
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    Thomas Cuong Huynh, founder of Sonshi

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