It is no wonder men nowadays are confused. Hopefully I can help to clear some of that confusion.
"In battle, there are no more than two types of attacks: Common and uncommon, yet the variations of the common and uncommon cannot all be anticipated." Sun Tzu
Second, success for a man is dependent upon his ability to think for himself and adapt accordingly. For him to not carefully evaluate his own situation himself and instead follow someone else's rigid regimen or technique, he will invariably make mistakes that would cost dearly him at home and at work. What he has to succeed hasn't been lost. Evolution would dictate that chances are good he already possessed what it takes to succeed as a man and it is within him from the time he was born.
"The general who does not advance to seek glory, or does not withdraw to avoid punishment, but cares for only the people's security and promotes the people's interests, is the nation's treasure." Sun Tzu
Therefore, your objective isn't to be a man that someone else thought a man should be. Your goal is your goal. It is unique. It is different. It is yours. In summary, the real man or woman you want to be is the one who is daily striving for your dream and eventually reaching it. And real men and women certainly aren't lost. One of them can be found in your mirror each and every morning.